~2:54am. Just finished 6episodes of honey and clover after late supper. Im just like Takemoto. Never thought of my ideals during sch time, lost because i dont have a destination. His grad project is just like mine. Done for the sake of graduating. To me its a crapwork. Tomorrow would be sch reopening for lasalle students. Jo would be back in sch for fashion d, cheese for animation, and i supposed erene is there too in comm d if im not wrong. Im envious of some of them. They had a 2nd chance to turn interest into career. I missed the days while im working on my multi tasking. Staying up all night sketching, rendering, model-making while working on directors and alias. She was always there by my side. Watching me work. Helping me with simple lineworks. Boiling me coffee and food. My fustrations deflected on her when she cant understand what im trying to explain about my work. Im still thinking of that particular email i sent to her. I dont know what am i expecting and why i even wrote that. Perhaps that lead to me dreaming of her yestd. Had been a long while since i last dreamt. We were lying on our own beds. Shes smiling at me, we kissed, just a peck which feels numb and there i woke from my dream. The innocent her resides in my heart. Some illogical sayings i came across, "The reason why some pple kept repetitively appearing in your dreams is because they miss you and wanted to see you. The soul leaving their bodies for a moment to visit you in your dreams". The last part sure sound creepy to me. She was online today. As usual i wont be the one who starts the conversation. I dont wish to be misunderstood as stalking. She started off by sending a couple of songs. To her might be hell for sch but im happy for her to be able to pursue her studies. I avoided from asking questions regarding sch. And questions that might end up in the answers ----->"...". To me this triple dot thingy shouldnt exist in language. Appears rude to me, like you cant be bothered or aint least interested. Most of msn users used this but i avoid committing whats appeared wrong to me. Feelings and emotions dont transmit through msges so i would always try to be careful with my written language.

Jin told me not to quit ms. He said it was sian if i do quit. Guess a lot of us are leaving this game to rot. I just replied that i might login occasionally. They are supposed to let me have fun and escape from the real life which includes work; man2man politics etc. Instead, its just a replica of the latter. I've login for a session of 15mins. JJ came to find me in game. Greeted each other with an F2 and thats it. Nothing to talk. He left for dinner and i logged out. Nowadays my siblings are using the com more frequently than i am.

Sent out job application to apple warehse for admin support job. Receiving and exchanging of products. The deadline is long. Im waiting for replies tick tock tick tock. I shall lookout for others in the meantime. Its me myself. I admit that im lost when i have to leave design and force myself to do things that i dont like. Markets small, how talented you are, you still need the eloquency to promote yourself well. Thats what im bad at. Beautiful sentences in my mind in relations to my works, always end up being converted to short blunt sentences when i speak.

Work-out again this evening. Felt so alive and fresh after that. The unexplained aches and sore that i suspected might be because of lattic acid building up over the months went away gradually. Felt energized. Will be going for swimming soon. Planning to make myself chao tah. I looked even fairer now, can fight with WX. But before that, i got to build back some muscles before jumping into public pools -SHY- I know how to swim but im lacking confidence. Always ended up giving up once i reach the middle. I never had completed a lap before, believe it or not. Cant forget how the coach pushed me into the water when i was in primary school. I was struggling to emerge from the pool for some air and he pushed my head down into the pool several times. When i was pulled up by some passer bys, after catching up my breath. I saw the coach had already brought the rest to another faraway pool. I went to changed and left without telling him. I refrained from swimming from then on.

Hmm scanning spyware with my ad aware now. Saw trojan in my spy sweeper results. Damn! Gotta wait for the scanning to be completed and delete it before shutting down the com. 3:50am now~