Slept at 10pm last night, awake at 4plusam. Dreamt of her again, we were in school. Her image is getting blurry as i havent met her for quite some time. ...26th of june, 4th of july...
1st time i drool so much while sleeping. A sign of my health deteoriating. Constipation comes and go, stomach as bloated as ever. Drinking water doesnt helps much, eating spicy food no longer gets me into lao shy state.

I wonder why did she tell me that some guy is trying to date her out and she rejected. Does she wants me to say "go ahead"?? I just hmm hmm hmm. What else can i say, kai bu liao kou also. I used to feel that im so forunate and im really happy to have somebody like her by side. Someone who treat me with so much kindness and whole heartedly. Yea my friends envied me haha. Regretting thing is that when i finally realised it and started to committ myself, you gradually walked away. Somethings i regretted that i never got the opportunity to do for her anymore. Though i can imagine it doesnt feels good if i see her with another guy in the future yet i would be glad that someone is taking over me as her guardian as in take care of her. Yea she needs to be taken care of though she alwis mentioned about being independent. Her surface independence made me stopped showing further concern for her gradually. Hope leaving me is a really good decision made by her. Are you fine, how are you? I never did get the msg across to her. Sometimes reminding me of how good she used to be and how cruel her words are, can drive me crazy. Split personality that make me confused, really not sure which is her.
Trust, faith and confidence is what im trying to find back. By just telling myself that she treats me as a friend, i feel better.

Now waiting for sj to be awake for breakfast...5plus nia sian~